Colossians 4

Hey I am sorry i haven't written in a while i couldn't remember my password and have not been able to sign in for a while. I had a chance to look at Colossians 4 and your question specifically surrounding 4:6. I found that the same word in the greek is also in 4:4 and actually littered throughout the new testament almost 100 times. From my reading it is not any different than the should we have been talking about. The word is most often translated must so like in Mark 8:31 And he began to teach that the son of man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests... It also is transalted as ought, behoove, and should but it is translated almost 2:1 must versus the rest. In reading up on shall i discovered that it is the same root as sollen or sol and that it fits as a modal verb which gives more information for the verb that follows it. In the case of colossians 4:6 it is describing the verb respond. Without getting to much into the grammer of it we can take the principle of looking to the context as to what Paul is trying to get at and the reason we can use this principle is inferred in the grammatical principle for should. In the context Paul writes Let your speech always be with grace (as though) seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. 4:1-3 Paul describes how to pray and then in verse 4 states that i make it clear in the way i ought to speak. In both cases the should and the ought are descriptive not the emphasis for me to catch. Paul is writing that we need to learn how to speak with grace (filled with the wisdom and words of Christ) and when we learn this or as we learn this we will be better at knowing how we should respond in situations. The same is true for the first part of four we need to be devoted to prayer and as we pray correctly we will respond correctly to people.
SO whats the conclusion:
As we are conversing about this it isn't that the word should is bad it is that when we use it as an emphasis it changes the focuses of God. I should be better at praying, i should be a better husband, i should be better at wittnessing, i should be a better parent, the emphasis of all these statements is ME and according to our original sin which is the core of our sin nature, I want to be like God, as Satan promised. So in our sin it Satan so decitfully switches the emphasis off of God and onto me. Paul never intended for us to speak like this, his emphasis is on learning how to speak with grace and how to be devoted to prayer and through these the spirit will guide and change us. We cannot change ourselves. That is why especially MK's like us have to be aware of our shoulds and who the emphasis is on. Great question it really helped me wrestle with this, i am enjoying this lets keep talking.